Does the Bible have double standards for men and women? Scripture specifically tells wives to submit to their husbands and for husbands to love their wives – does that mean God doesn’t want women to love their husbands?
God’s Double Standard for Wives?
Why does the Bible tell husbands to love their wives, but doesn’t tell the wives to love their husbands?
Scripture actually does tell women women to love their husbands and children!
God’s Commands for Women
” Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.” – Titus 2:2-6 ESV
I know that Titus isn’t one of the oft-quoted books of the Bible, so I’m going to assume you’re wondering about the different commands for men and women in either Ephesians or Colossians:
Commands for Spouses in Ephesians
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” – Ephesians 5:22-30 ESV
Commands for Spouses in Colossians
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:18-21 ESV
Why God’s Commands Are Different For Men & Women
This is a very simple answer. God tells you to do what is contrary to your nature.
Generally speaking, women don’t have a problem with a lack of love for their husbands. Women have a problem with a lack of respect for their husbands. Therefore, God told women to respect their husbands.
Men don’t have a problem with respecting their wives. Men have a problem showing love to their wives. Therefore, God told men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.
Originally posted to Quora on August 16, 2018