Is a Christian free to remarry if their ex-spouse marries someone new?

We’re diving right in to today’s Q&A – does God allow for a Christian to remarry after their ex-spouse remarries somebody else?

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QUESTION: If two Christians divorce and then one of them pursues a relationship with another, is that Biblical adultery and therefore justifying the divorce after the fact and thus freeing the person from the marriage?

Answer: I didn’t make the rules, so don’t shoot the messenger. You’re asking a religious question while seeking a religious answer.

The key to this question is what was the reason for the divorce?

  1. Adultery, including pornography?
  2. Physical abuse that could lead to your death or could physically contribute to your death? (Ex: repeated concussion could lead to death.)
  3. Abandonment – as in the person literally disappears from your life to fake their own death and you honestly assume they’re dead, or conversely, throws you out onto the street in an attempt to cause you to die?

Nobody is allowed to try to cause their spouse to die to circumvent the Biblical prohibition against remarriage except in the case of the death of your spouse. Using murder as a loophole to have “permissible” sex with a new partner is in the running for the worst kind of sexual immorality.

Those aforementioned reasons are justifiable and Biblically sound reasons for divorce.


Now onto the second part of your question, is it adultery after-the-fact once two people are already divorced? For non-Christians, this question absolutely makes zero sense, but again, you’re asking a religious question while seeking a religious answer.

Let me guess, you got divorced for a non-Biblically permitted reason. Your ex-wife has gone and married another, so now you believe that you should be free from your marital bonds.

“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32

Women had to be married if she was going to survive in society. Life was a group effort before the industrial age, and still is in many parts of the world today. Women needed to get remarried, even though this divorce would cause them to be adulterous.

Jesus was speaking to Pharisees – men. These “super extra ‘righteous’” Pharisees were forcing women into adultery because these men and women were trying to find loopholes in Jewish law that allowed them to sleep around. You’d “get married” to a woman on paper, sleep with her, then divorce her, rinse, repeat. This concept of a temporary marriage to circumvent what is really just premarital sex exists today in Islam and is called “Nikah mut’ah.”

There is no such thing as justification after-the-fact for your divorce. This is why even the apostles were taken aback by how strict Jesus was when it came to marriage and divorce.

“9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” Matthew 19:9-10

Did you marry a crazy person? Too bad. Is the person no longer attractive? Too bad. Did this person ask for a divorce even though you didn’t want one? Still too bad, which is why the apostles were so aghast!

Unless you reconciled with your spouse before either of you “became one flesh” with another (including through pornography) you must stay single or it will Biblically be considered adultery on your part. Once one spouse has been joined to another, you are never allowed to remarry that ex-spouse.

“then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.”Deuteronomy 24:4

Marriage and divorce are SERIOUS undertakings to God. It doesn’t matter what falliable human beings are doing, their sin doesn’t justify your sin. This is why you better know who you’re marrying and you better have a life and death reason for getting divorced, because God doesn’t play around.

God Himself is divorced, and is awaiting His new bride, the church. Did God divorce Israel every time she upset Him and didn’t uphold her part of the marriage covenant? No. God was long-suffering. That’s what Biblical marriage is a picture of today – God’s covenant with His people.

When did God get divorced? When Israel committed adultery.

“She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.”Jeremiah 3:8

This is why God can’t rejoin Himself to His former bride Israel, but can only await for the Bride of Christ, the church, because the blood covenant, the engagement, was already made with us when Jesus went to the cross.


Unless you had a Biblically sound reason for divorce, even if your spouse left you high and dry, you are NOT allowed to remarry without it being adulterous on your part before God.

If you have already remarried after getting a Biblically unsound divorce, you are not to divorce your new spouse. You can’t undo adultery.

I didn’t make the rules, so don’t shoot the messenger.

Originally posted to Quora on June 11, 2018

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What Quora & Satan don’t want you to know about homosexuality

This past weekend I received a “Be Nice, Be Respectful” violation for “hate speech” on Quora.com. My appeal was rejected and my account may be terminated. I am in the process of backing up all of my work, and I will be reposting many of my writings here on my website in the coming months.

Quora’s notice:

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My appeal:

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Quora’s Response:

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Here is what I wrote, to this prompt, which Quora has marked as “hate speech:”

From a Christian, non-LGBTQ perspective, what’s the best way for Christians to help LGBTQ people come to repentance?

First let’s see what the Bible says, specifically the New Testament:

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” – John 7:24

Okay cool. We’re supposed to judge correctly!

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proudarrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderouswithout self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, recklessswollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”  2 Timothy 3:1-5

That basically describes everyone in this present age. Now that we know what we’re dealing with (unrepentant people) and what we’re supposed to do (judge rightly) let’s move forward.

“9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.

12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” – 1 Corinthians 5:9-13

Wow, so we see that the Bible is very clear! Christians aren’t to go around being the morality police to non-Christians. (This does not mean that Christians can’t have a say on what legally affects Christian taxpayers or what they’re forced to subject their own children to.) BUT Christians have an obligation to police so-called Christians who are engaging in behavior that God calls “evil.” If they are unrepentant, the Bible says to remove them from the congregation!

But what if they were born this way?! Well of course! We were all born with a sin nature!

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Now we see that homosexuality is considered a sin that shows that you are not God’s child, one who will inherit God’s kingdom. We see that some Christians formerly practiced such acts, but after becoming Christians, they no longer engaged in such acts.

“29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. – Matthew 5:29-30

Being born any type of way does not excuse sin. Jesus Himself directs people to maim themselves if that’s what it takes to prevent yourself from engaging in sexual sin.

What is the best thing you can do to share the gospel with someone? Simply share the gospel with them! People may have traumatic backgrounds, so lead with God’s love, without condoning their sin. Share the gospel how you would with a heterosexual person.

“18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” – Romans 1:18-32

We see that people already know God and they choose to worship anything but Him. Homosexuality is something that God sees as a sign of people who are wicked and willfully disobedient to His laws. You must make sure that you do not give approval to such acts while sharing the message of God’s love.

Even when Jesus spoke to sexually immoral people, he ended His conversation with a command.

“14 Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, ‘See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.’” John 5:14

“11 She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.’” John 8:11

Originally posted February 10, 2018: https://www.quora.com/From-a-Christian-non-LGBTQ-perspective-whats-the-best-way-for-Christians-to-help-LGBTQ-people-come-to-repentance/answer/Rachel-Stephens-10